Friday, 13 April 2012

#RomanticFridayWriters - #AtoZChallenge - Flash Fiction - L is for 'Lisa, you'll never make it...'

Welcome to RomanticFridayWriters!

RFW is about short short writing or flash fiction (usually 400 words), less for poems, with some romantic element. It's not Romance of the happily ever after variety, but Romantic, where it's about the story, the issue, with some romantic relationship involved. Our stories are edgy, sometimes dark, and often don't have the HEA ending!

So here we go! RFW Dribbles (50 words), Drabbles (100 words) and Droubbles (200 words) and more (400 ish)...for your enjoyment - a laugh, a cry...

It's widely agreed that most fiction (unless it's solely about animals) begins and ends with human characters: their frailties, virtues, conflicts and expectations. In our stories for the A - Z Challenge the writers attempt to more closely observe the people around us...

L is for 'Lisa, you'll never make it...'

'Lisa, you're dreaming,' Kelvin said. 'You'll never make it.'

Lisa sniggered, dropped her suitcase at the door and kicked it open with her cowgirl boots.

'I don't care what you think, you loser. I'm going to give this my best shot. It's my ticket out of this dump.'

She walked out the door.

She felt hot breath on the nape of her neck. Kelvin had followed her outside. 'Here's your coffee,' he said, handing her the takeaway cup she'd left on the kitchen bench. For a minute she thought he was going to throw it over her new 'do.

'You're really going then?' he asked, looking up the street.

'The sooner the better. Living with a no-account guy in a no-account tumbledown shack isn't going to help my career.'

'So where will you live?' Kelvin asked, trying to act cool. 'Uh, just askin'. Curiosity.'

'Nick said I could stay with him till the work starts coming in regular,' she said.

'That no-account agent of yours? Well, that figures. Know what that sleazebag's after. You'd be better off with me, no hoper that I am an' all. Better the devil you know an' all  that.'

Nick's hot red car cruised down the street, stopping at the broken-down gate. Lisa stepped over the wiggly fence and handed her case to Nick. Ah, to step into this bright and shiny chrome job...

'Stay, Lisa. I'll -' Kelvin's voice was getting up a whine, louder than the purr of the engine.

'In your dreams buster. Let's go Nick. Let's get outta this dump.'

Nick ran his hand up her leg and squeezed her soft inner thigh. 'Yeah, let's hurry!'

Words 275

Denise, (L'Aussie) writes short stories, flash fiction, travel articles and newspaper profiles while working on her Great Australian Novels, one of which is set in Afghanistan. She's the founder of RomanticFridayWriters. Her writing blog is L'Aussie Writing. She'd love you to visit her there for her A - Z Challenge on the theme, BLOGGERS WERE CHILDREN TOO!


  1. Hmmm.. don't think I like Nick. Like the name Kelvin. ;-) It's a nicely written flash though not a nice thing going on. Sometimes it's hard dealing with a dream and what sometimes that means leaving behind.

    1. Thanks Dawn. I don't like any of them, lol! But I'm sympathetic to all but Nick. D.

  2. I think I'm having a white-trash moment here :)

    Oh my, everything from the picture, the names, the voice - wow, just perfect Denise. this is certainly a vignette - an emotive scene I want to hod in my minds eye and have all kinds of sordid fantasies about what the rest of the story would entail.

    You totally captured me with this one.


    1. Yeah, aren't I dishin' up the sleaze here baby! D.

  3. Nick screams bad guy from a mile, not that Kevin is a saint but atleast a nicer version who likes her for her...another starlet dream ending in disaster?
    I loved this.

  4. Poor dumb Lisa. I feel sorry for both her and Kelvin, even though they didn't spoil two families did they?

    Nick, however, is a sleaze.

  5. Great story, but to be honest, I had trouble taking my eyes from the blonde in the jean shorts. :D
    A-Z visitor and new follower
    - Maurice Mitchell
    The Geek Twins | Film Sketchr
    @thegeektwins | @mauricem1972

  6. Sounds like Lisa will be getting her just desserts. Great flash fiction.
    Wagging Tales

  7. Thanks to new commenters/followers Charmaine and Maurice and Arooj.

    Thanks all for reading my story.


  8. Still super hot and sexy the second time :)


  9. Excellent dialog and character development! Nuff said.

  10. You've captured the characters perfectly. Nick deserves what he's going to get when it all turns sour on him.

  11. Dear Denise,
    Sorry I'm swamped with blog hops, work, stuff!

    Poor Kelvin...Lisa & that Nick sound perfect for each other. She's the perfect hussy, he an even better sleaze. She'll be back, I'm sure. Realistic dialogue & scene setting. Thanks for sharing.


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